One year. That was the deal.

When I was pregnant with our first, Sam and I agreed that one of us should be home with our kids. He offered. "I could do it for a year," he said. "I could job share."

That one year turned into 13.

As my career took off, Sam settled into a role most people didn't expect a man to take, and he did it fully. He set aside his career as a lawyer and a job he genuinely loved. I will never downplay what that cost him.

But ask either of us today and we'll tell you the same thing: it was the best decision we ever made.

It impacted our family in ways we couldn't have predicted. 

It built the foundation our three kids, now young adults, are standing on as they thrive. And it meant I didn't have to choose between building my career and enjoying my family. I got to do both, because we decided together what our family needed and who was best positioned to give it.

Role reversal wasn't a sacrifice one of us made for the other. It was a bet we made on our family.

* For more on Sam's experience and our kids reflections, check out my book Balance is Bullshit