What I Told 700 Women at the Tri Delta National Convention

This summer, I stood in front of nearly 700 women at the Tri Delta National Convention in Denver.

Some were just starting their careers. Some were decades in. Almost all of them had been told the same thing at some point: you can have it all — you just have to balance it better.

I came to tell them that's not true. And that it's not their fault.

I walked them through my own life, decade by decade — the climb, the kids, the collisions, the reinvention. Then I left them with three ideas.

I call it PAR.

P — Permission

Permission to stop chasing a version of success you never chose. Permission to stop trying to balance everything perfectly. Permission to want a big career and a full life — without apologizing for either one.

Most women don't need more motivation. They need someone to say, out loud, that it's okay to do it differently.

A — Alignment

For years, I'd pull into my driveway after work and just sit in the car. I wasn't ready to go inside. I was caught between two identities — the executive I'd been all day and the mom on the other side of the door — and neither one felt whole.

That's what misalignment feels like. Not a crisis. Just a quiet, constant tug-of-war.

Alignment is what ends it. It's when your career, your family, your marriage, and your own well-being stop competing and start working together. It's the core of the Self Architect Method™. [link to Post 1]

R — Reinvention

After 25 years at Nordstrom — from the sales floor to running a $2B business — I was fired.

It felt like the end of something. It turned out to be the beginning of everything I do now: the book, the speaking, the advisory work, this blog.

Purpose isn't something you find once. It evolves. Every decade asks something new of you, and reinvention isn't failure — it's the next chapter.

What I hope they took home

• You don't have to choose one thing. You get to build a life with room for more than one.

• Balance is the wrong goal. Alignment is the right one.

• The hardest moments in a career are often where the next one begins.

  
  

I closed the way I close every talk: You are allowed to want more than one thing.

The energy in that room was something I'll never forget.

“Loretta’s keynote at our International Convention was spectacular -  and its impact on our 700 members in the room, myself included, was immediate and lasting. She gave our leaders language and permission to lead differently, and that’s exactly what our sisterhood needed to hear.”

Bring this talk to your organization

This keynote works for corporate leadership teams, women's leadership programs, employee resource groups, conferences, and associations. I deliver it as a full keynote or a focused 20-minute session, tailored to your audience.

Planning an event for 2027? Let's talk.